Archimedes Plutonium is nothing if not determined, my friends, nothing if not determined. Since the early 1990s he’s been fighting against those dastardly scoundrels who forge posts by putting his name in them. He has canvassed tirelessly to shut down anti-science and bullying newsgroups like alt.usenet.kooks. Yet this net.legend has never gained the sort of recognition he deserves for these heroic efforts. At least not until now.
The Grand Wizard would like to claim some credit for Dr. Plutonium’s new honors, but this wasn’t his doing. It appears that the scientific luminaries whom the
GoofyGood Doctor has called upon for assistance have heard his cries for help and given him an appropriate response.
Thanks are in order to Dr. John Horton Conway for nominating Dr. Plutonium to the Darth Bawl Award and to Dr. Barry Mazur for his nominations for the Palmjob Paddle and the George Armstrong Custer “Kicked @$$” Award. Sadly, the stAUKer conspiracy against the Grand Wizard’s stable continues, as Stephen Smale’s nomination for the Pickett’s Charge Trophy was rejected on the most transparent of technicalities. Our legal team (Grubor, Grubor, Grubor, Cantor & Siegel) is on the case with this injustice. Unfortunately our paralegal, Mr. Baillie, accidentally sent out our final warning letter to our upstream provider. We are still in the process of straightening this issue out and will be certain to keep you informed as events progress.
The Grand Wizard of AUK has spoken. Thank you all for listening.