In an unexpected development, Sir Fasgnadh (Indecisive Soldier of God) has just been chosen to appear on the February 2012 AUK ballot for the coveted Coward of the Month award. After decades in the business, this just goes to show that even the Grand Wizard can be taken by surprise once in a while. I saw Fasgnadh as a shoo-in for this month’s prestigious Palmjob Paddle, and was working on getting him another shot at the Unabomber Surprise. But it never occurred to me that he might also have potential in the Coward of the Month race. Thanks are in order to Pope Snarky and Raven1 for correcting the Grand Wizard’s oversight. (Which reminds me: I need to make an appointment with my ophthalmologist to get my prescription sunglasses checked).
The Grand Wizard is still campaigning for Sir Fasgnadh’s inclusion in the race for the Palmjob Paddle and may sign the Indecisive Soldier of God up for other awards should suitable openings arise. But the CoTM nomination is a rare and truly unexpected gift. The Grand Wizard is happy to know that my fans still love me and send me presents. It warms the cockles of my heart, and the heart of my… well, you know what I’m saying.
In other news, Dr. Plutonium’s race for the Darth Bawl is going to be a close one. The incumbent is a longtime AUK favorite, Greg “Captain Neal” Hall. Hall is definitely a force to be reckoned with. Last month he held onto his Village Idiot title in the face of a truly dense challenger, Greegor “Rock Hard Stupid” Hanson.
Greegor’s presence on this month’s ballot, alas, remains a question mark: we have had difficulty getting his nominations seconded, since almost everybody on AUK has had him killfiled for years. But dope springs eternal in the Grand Wizard’s stable. We’re confident that before the month is out Hanson will receive the attention he so richly deserves before getting sent back to /dev/null/.
The Grand Wizard of AUK has spoken. Thank you all for listening.